


Devildom Musical

by UnprotectedTarget



Category: Shall We Date?: Obey Me!
Genre: Comedy, Gay Panic, Inspired by Music, M/M, Please Kill Me, Romance, Sorry Not Sorry
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-03-29
Updated: 2020-03-30
Packaged: 2021-02-28 21:20:08
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,060
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23383651
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/UnprotectedTarget/pseuds/UnprotectedTarget
Summary: A really spontanious, sleep deprived idea, that is going to be the death of me.Inspired by the song: "There! Right There!" (Legally Blonde) I do not own the lyrics of the song.Asmodeus has a Special PowerPoint presentation.
Comments: 6
Kudos: 33





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Pls don't kill me for this. Will probably be split into 3 chapters.  
> Meant to be read like a stageplay!
> 
> Anyway, enjoy reading, i recommend listening to the song too. c:

MC and the brothers are sitting in the living area. Only Lucifer is  
absent for no apparent reason. Asmodeus has gathered them all on the  
couch, he is standing in front of them with a brand new PowerPoint  
presentation. He clicks and a picture is projected on the wall above the  
fireplace. It shows Lucifer sitting somewhere on a beach; he is wearing  
sunglasses and an unbuttoned shirt. His upper body is exposed.

Satan: wait, where did you - 

Asmodeus: There! Right there!  
Look at that tan, well-tended skin.  
Look at the killer shape he's in.  
Look at that slightly stubbly chin.  
Oh, please, he's gay, totally gay!

Everybody is focused on the picture, spotting intense facial  
expressions. Satan clears his throat and gets into his thinking pose.  
Satan: I'm not about to celebrate.

Every trait could indicate.  
A totally straight expatriate.  
That guy's not gay, I say not gay.

Levi is looking confused.

Levi: why are we doing this again, Asmo?

Suddenly, MC and the others whisper to each other excitedly. Belphegor  
pulls out his phone and shows them a picture of Lucifer in a store,  
occupied with choosing some kind of perfume.

MC/Mammon/Satan/Belphie: That is the elephant in the room.  
Well, is it relevant to assume.  
That a man who wears perfume  
Is automatically, radically fey?

Asmo nods, pleased with the way this conversation is evolving. he clicks  
again and another picture pops up, this time from Lucifers own Devilgram  
profile. He is laying in bed, his hair ruffled. The eldest is dressed in  
an elegant sleeping suit. Beel is eating a lollipop and uses it to point  
to the wall.

Beel: But look at his coiffed and crispy locks.

Asmodeus nods again, even more enthusiastically and zoomes in on the  
picture.

Asmo: Look at his silk translucent socks.

Satan visibly comes to a conclusion and gets up, taking the remote that  
controls the presentation from the avatar of lust. He uses it to skip to  
a picture of Lucifer, smugly holding a whip in his hand.

Satan: There's the eternal paradox.  
Look what we're seein'.

Asmo takes the remote back from him.

Asmo: What are we seein'?

Satan dramatically poses and puts his hand in front of his face,  
effectively copying the behaviour of his favorite fictional detective.  
Everyone holds their breath.

Satan: Is he gay?

Asmodeus uses a laser pointer to circle the whip in the picture. 

Asmo: Of course he's gay!

Satan ignores his objection and turns around, pointing at noone. Now  
everyone is confused for a moment.

Satan: Or European?


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The next part my dear readers!   
> Will we ever find out if he is in fact, gay or European?

Everyone: Oh...

For a brief moment, everyone is silent. They exchange knowing looks with each other. Satan is the only one standing besides Asmo and begins to pace around the room.

Everyone: Gay or European?  
It's hard to guarantee  
Is he gay or European?

MC raises an eyebrow and instinctively looks at Mammon whose face becomes beet red in an instant. He throws up his hands protectively. 

Mammon: Well, hey, don't look at me!

While the others are focused on Mammon, Asmodeus changes the picture on the wall once again. This time you can clearly see that it is photoshopped. Lucifers head was cropped out of a picture and put onto Mammons body. Judging by the revealing clothes he's wearing it seems to be a photoshoot. Mammon jumps from the couch and forcefully takes the remote from Asmo. Triumphantly he skips through the next slides only to discover that Asmodeus had put more than 200 copies of the same picture in there. Defeated, he sits back down on the couch and covers his face in his hands. Levi looks throughly amused.

Levi: You see, they bring their boys up different  
In those charming foreign ports  
They play peculiar sports

He pauses and zooms in on the clothes „Lucifer“ is wearing. Asmodeus giggles and poses, saying the next line in unison with him.

Levi/Asmo: In shiny shirts and tiny shorts

That leaves everyone except Mammon laughing for a couple of seconds. However, they become serious once MC raises her hand and stands up too. She pulls out her phone and shows them a few text messages. Mammon now seems to be quite angry.

MC: Gay or foreign fella?  
The answer could take weeks  
They both say things like "ciao bella"  
While they kiss you on both cheeks.

Belphie: wait when did he –

Before the situation can get too serious, Asmodeus stops them by interrupting and taking MCs phone from her. 

Asmodeus: Oh, please.

He gestures for the others to continue and effortlessly clicks to another picture. Mammon doesn’t know if he should be relieved that the asmo-made Lucifer abomination is gone or confused by how easily he got rid of it. The avatar of lust seems to read his thoughts and points to the repeat button on his remote, clearly amused. Mammon wants to leave but the others wont let him. The current picture has everyone whispering again. Lucifer is holding the hand of an unknown demon. It looks like he is about to kiss it. 

Belphie: Gay or European?  
So many shades of gray

Now Mammon proudly chimes in; remembering a piece of information which MC told him some time ago while watching a human world movie. 

Mammon: Depending on the time of day,  
The French go either way.

Beel: wait, the French -

Belphie shakes his head lightly and pats him on the back. The ginger demon goes back to eating his candy, already forgetting why he had been confused. Levi is rolling his eyes in Mammons direction which leads to MC protectively hugging Mammon instead. The avatar of greed gets even redder but is now spotting a smug grin. Asmodeus is once again not happy about them forgetting the original question.

Asmo: Is he gay or European, or--?

He gets interrupted by Barbatos, who steps into the room, stone faced. The demon brothers and MC are shocked beyond belief. Asmodeus is panicking and tries to close the presentation. This is cut short by Barbatos taking the remote from him. Everyone is silent, afraid that Diavolos butler might tell Lucifer about this particular presentation. 

Asmo: Barbatos darling, how much did you -? 

Barbatos: There! Right there!  
Look at that condescending smirk  
Seen it on every guy at work  
That is a metro, hetero jerk  
That guy's not gay  
I say no way


End file.
